Scared of

Monsters

My kids have always been scared to go upstairs by themselves. 

Now they are afraid to go to sleep.  Kallie and Dagen aren’t too bad, but surprisingly my BIG Jaidyn, who would be very embarrassed that I am sharing this… is afraid.  She covers every inch of herself except her nose when she sleeps.  She is sweating bullets under her covers, I’m sure, and I feel so bad, I’m trying everything. 

They are all scared of monsters in their closets and under their bed.  

(I was too as a kid and I think everyone can relate).

Isaac has gone from bad to worse.  He screams like he’s really getting attacked by monsters (literally), if he’s left in any room by himself in the dark.  He loses it! 

Jaidyn and Isaac were in my bathroom putting some lotion on the other night before bed and Jaidyn was done and walked out turning the light off and left Isaac finishing up sitting on the counter.  I know… mean.  She unconsciously turned the light off from habit and walked away.  Isaac screamed and cried, but the “I’m in a haunted house, all by myself” scream.  It scared Jaidyn and made her scream.

Here’s the explanation for their fear becoming worse than it already was:

They watched A Christmas Carol Movie, that came out recently, and the part where the two kids under the last ghost’s gown scared them to death.  Jaidyn thinks the girl and boy are hiding in her closet.

They watched Gremlins on our last trip to California.

Someone shared with Jaidyn in school, the Bloody Mary Story, and I think any and all versions of this story, myself, is terrifying. 

I looked online to find ways to help kids who are afraid of monsters or the dark. 

"Do not belittle your child's fear of the dark or force him to stay in a darkened room just because he's 'too old' to be afraid," adds Dr. Garber. Instead:

• Ask your child what he feels when he's alone in the dark. Even if his apprehension seems ridiculous to you, reassure him with concrete information. For example, say, "You're right that the house makes funny sounds at night. Let's listen to them together, and I'll tell you what each one is."
• Teach your child to calm him or herself by saying, "I'm safe in the dark; my mom and dad are nearby" or "That sound was just the heat coming on."
• Gradually decrease the light in the room, starting with a lower-watt bulb in his lamp, then leaving a light on only in the hallway. Offer praise each time he or she goes to sleep with less light.
• Help your child avoid scary TV shows and movies, since nighttime fears can be greatly intensified by what a child is exposed to during the day.
• Telling a child, "there is no such thing as a monster" sends a message that their fear is not valid and therefore even more scary because the child feels alone.

  For nightmares:

  Reassure your child
  Holding them and saying nothing but, "I am here" works. Sometimes parents have a tendency to talk too much, trying to rationalize and may create more problems. Talking it out, may backfire. It is much better to be quiet and focus on hugging your child, enveloping them with feelings of safety. Encourage them to 'throw away the bad thoughts'.

  Evaluate their fear
  Is there a particular object in the room scaring them? Remove it. We once received an email from a mom whose daughter was scared of a red eye monster. We suggested that mom lay in her bed and see her room from her daughter's bedtime perspective. The red eye monster turned out to be a nanny cam.

  If your child brings up the monster fear, at any other time than bedtime,ask them to describe what it looks like, maybe drawing a picture. Many people believe this reinforces/validates their fear. The reality is...the fear is already there, it is real to your child and you cannot help unless you ascertain its origin and attributes. Pictures can speak a thousand words here.

  And the last one:

  Empower your child.

  Fear arises from a feeling of lack of control so do what you can to empower your child with the tools to deal with their issues. Monster Go Away! spray evolved from this premise. Of course, you can always stick with plain water... but the scent is an overt sign that something is combating the monster. After all, monsters hate stuff that smells good, right?

  Active imaginations are at work and children who are empowered with targeted strategies are more equipped to overcome their fears.

  So I got the Monster Go Away Spray. (www.monstergoaway.com)  My kids are very excited and anxious for it’s arrival in the mail.  You can also make your own. 

  You’ll need:  1 bottle

  Ingredients

  • 6-8 ounces water
  • 3-4 drops lavender oil

1  Let child pick out a"magical" spray bottle.

2  Fill bottle with water.

3  Add essential oil.

4  Shake well.

5  Spray in corners, under beds, in closets, etc.

6  Child may chant"monsters, monsters, stay away" or any other powerful words.

7  Shake before each use to make the magic strong

Add this onto the back

And this to the front with a big X over it

So now EVERY NIGHT, when tucking the kids in bed, either Mike or I, will look in their closets and under their beds for monsters, (with the lights off).  It has helped a little. 

Jaidyn still looks like a mummy hidden under her covers with her eye mask on, and a pillow on either side of her head, but it’s been better.  Jaidyn also puts her scriptures, open, on the end of her bed every night.

We are still waiting for the monster spray to get here, but when it does… I’ll let you know.